Lost and Alone
by Paegodude
Summary: Minecraft Yog Fic! This is a reaction fic to Caora's Dear Diary fic on Tumblr. Sjin finds a diary that lets him communicate to Sips, a man who lives in another place and time. With the diary as their only means of communication, Sjin can not help when something devastating happens that leaves him, once again, lost and utterly alone.


This is a reaction fic to post/42963837120/dear-diary this story, so please follow the link and read that story first to understand what its going on.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters Sjin or Sips, or even Xephos. I do not own the Yogscast.

Sjin curled up on his side of the bed, sobbing violently and clutching his pillow like a life line. He'd just gotten the confermation from the man 'Xephos'. It was like all the nightmares he'd been cursed with over the past few days had become real all at once. Sips was gone. It wasn't just him losing the diary, or the diary burning up. No, the diary remained, but Sips was gone.

It felt like something had dragged a cinder block across his heart. The only feeling was pain and depression. He was alone again. Being alone wasn't new to him. He'd been alone for years before finding the diary. Sjin was use to the fact that he only had himself. But finding Sips changed his life. Finally, after so long, he had someone to talk to. After so long he felt a bond with someone. He hadn't realized how dependent he'd been on that bond until it broke.

Sometime in the night Sjin managed to calm down enough to fall asleep, salty tears drying to his cheeks. When he woke up, he wrote one last entry into the diary and began packing his things.

Though he'd never said anything to Sips, he'd decorated his home to become suitable for two. It was really just for Sjin to be able to imagine that Sips did live with him in Dawson's Towel. When he wasn't writing to the man through the diary, Sjin would go along his normal routine, only he would imagine that Sips was working with him. He'd begun talking aloud as he farmed, and even started preparing two meals at dinner time. At night, he would put a mount of pillows on the other end of the bed and pretend Sips was next to him.

Everything in the house reminded Sjin of Sips. That's why he had to leave.

With everything he needed for survival on his back, the brunette left the town and headed over the Dawson's Crack and past the jungle, looking back more times than he'd like to admit.

When he reached the hole that he'd found the journal in, he stopped to remember that day. He'd been so excited to hear from the stranger who'd passed by before him. It made him believe he wasn't alone. Sadly, he never found the man. He'd most likely moved on long ago. However, it was then that he had the idea to make his own diary. And that's when he meet Sips.

Sjin quickly pushed the memory back, along with the tears that threatened to flow. Pushing on, he made his way out of the jungle just as the sun set below the horizon. Unfortunately, what he found before him was a wide desert, which was already crawling with creatures. Deciding that braving the desert would be suicide, Sjin turned around the climbed up a tall jungle tree to spend the night in.

Trying to fall asleep meant allowing his mind to wander, which was the last thing he wanted. So instead, perched from above, Sjin spent the night scoping the desert with his bow and arrows, practicing his long range shooting with only one incident with looking at endermen.

Halfway through the night Sjin's weary eyes spotted something in the distance that he hadn't noticed before. As a cloud passed over the moon, all light vanished from the sky. Sjin had been about to nail a creeper when this happened and was able to spot it. In the middle of the desert was a small hole partially covered with sandstone and wooden planks. The light of a single torch illuminated the inside. Sjin's heart skipped a beat at the sight. Another person? Most likely the man who'd left the other two journals. In a rush of adrenaline, he gathered his things and made his way down quickly and clumsily down the tree. Making a mad dash past the zombies, dodging arrows from all sides, Sjin ran for the hole.

He hated to admit it, but he'd become dependent on having another person. Though nobody could ever replace what Sips had been to him, his body craved the comfort of socialization, and in his emotionally weakened state, he didn't have the strength to go without it like before. So like a baseball player slideing onto home, he hit the ground, tumbling into the hole with a thud.

Sjin winced as he pulled himself off of whatever he'd landed on. By the light of the torch above him, he could see that it was a chest. Quickly opening it in excitment, he found the journal he had anticipated would be there. The sight warmed his heart for a moment, but then made him feel cold when he realizeded. This was just a normal journal. There was no person on the other side of some magical barrier who could catch his replies and say just he right think like Sips could. That would never be there for him again. These were just the words of some stranger who may not even be alive still.

A hiss grew just behind him, and Sjin had only milliseconds to brace himself before a creeper blew up, burning his back badly and causing him to bash his head badly on the wall. His ears rang and the world was spinning. The torch was gone, leaving him in the dark, as he fell to his side, clutching the journal to his chest. It was a fight to keep consiousnous and, in the end, the darkness won, and everything went to black.

Sjin woke up completely numb and stiff in a small pool of dried blood. Opening his eyes a bit only led to exposing his eyes to the blinding desert sun. As he became more aware of his surroundings, he began to regain more feeling, which was a very bad thing. His back arched reflexively, only causing the sting to become an angry burning. Sand had fallen into his broken skin, infecting the wound and making the pain worse.

As much as he'd like to lie there forever, praying the pain would go away, he knew that he had to pick himself up and find a way to heal. Winching, Sjin found his way onto his knees, the sun burning into his aching back. With shaky hands, he opened the journal and read the short passage within.

"Dear Diary,  
From too hot to too dry AND too hot. Plus, there ware a billion mobs spawning every night. The desert is the worst place to live. Period. Thankfully, I can see greenery on the horizon. Hopefully I'll find a place to build a house and settle down. Then I can finally keep a diary for more than one night."

The clue wasn't much, but it was enough to motivate him to get to his feet. He was shaky for a moment, trying to get his balance. Leaning against one of the walls that were still intact, he pulled out some bread to eat quickly, then pulled his shovel out. It was difficult to shovel while hunched over, but the burn didn't allow him to stand up straight. He dug out a slope just flat enough to crawl over and was able to get out.

There wasn't any signs of life except for the cacti scattered around. He was just able to make out the color of some sugar canes a hundred yards away. Sugar canes meant water. The thought made Sjin realized how dry his throat was. He shuffled his stiff legs foward, his thoughts drowned out by the sting of his back. The only thing that mattered was getting to the water to try and clean up his wound. If he healed he could continue.

By the time Sjin made it to the pool of water, it was past noon. Ignoring his clothes, he slipped into the pool. The water was warm, and stung horribly at first, but the contrast between the water and the sun's rays helped to ease his pain, if only by a little bit.

It was only a short soak, but Sjin didnt' want to stay for too long. Whoever wrote that journal was right. The desert was the worst possible place to be, and in his condition he needed to get out fast. When the water began to feel warm, Sjin dragged himself out onto the sand and began walking in the direction he presumed was away from the jungle.

Time seemed to melt away during his trudging, and the sun was making it's way below the horizon. There was no more motivation in his steps. If the journal didn't lead him anywhere, there would be no more destination. He would simply have to find a way to lick his wounds and move on and forget the last month of his life.

It was only when his feet hit grass that he realized that he was out of the desert. A cool breeze hit him, making the hair on his neck stand on end. After so long in the blazing sun, the change seemed more dramatic than it really was. He suddenly felt like the man who left the journals. Too cold, then too hot, then too dry, now too cold again. The chill sent needles up his back, making him cringe.

In a hopeful attempt, he tried to straighten his back. After so many hours hunched over, the motion took a lot of effort. Sadly, all it accomplished was opening his scabs and pain. Some of the cuts began to bleed slightly, and Sjin decided to continue his trudge forward.

As the night grew, monsters began to appear from the darkness. A groan to his right made Sjin pull out his sword just in time to hit a zombie who had come after him. While he was distracted, another zombie snuck up on him, clawing into Sjin's shoulder, causing him to cry out. Slashing the zombie with his sword, Sjin tried to ready himself for any more attacks. A spider hissed and lepted at the man, biting his leg. An arrow landed at his feet as he jammed his sword into the head of the spider, causing the stone sword to break in his hands. He tried to find something else on him to fight with, but began to feel terribly dizzy. Another arrow wizzed by him, and suddenly a zombie attacked from behind, pushed him to the ground.

Sjin didn't have enough strength to stand back up. Is this how I'll die, he asked himself. Alone in the middle of nowhere with only a journal by my side? Sjin couldn't tell if any monsters were attacking him, though he could still hear the sound of arrows flying by. The world was spinning and becoming fuzzy. He didn't know if it was the mob wounds or his infected back, but he knew he might not be able to heal. Just like Sips he would die without a trace. As his vision faded to black, all he could hear was the distant sounds of something walking towards him, and then nothingness.

Sjin awoke with a start, unaware of where he was. Had he respawned somewhere new? No, he realized. He lying on his belly on a double bed, practicly bandaged from head to toe. Looking around the room, Sjin saw that he was in a dug out home with paintings adoring the stone walls in random places, and a large chest next to a furnace which was cooking something that smelled good. Pork?

Pulling himself onto his elbows, Sjin tried to find any sign of who lived here. Looking down to the floor, he found his guy. A man with short black hair was sleeping on the ground next to the bed, his arm bent to be used as a pillow. Sjin couldn't think of anything to say, nor did he want to interupt the man's slumber, so he layed back down and watched the man sleep until he fell back into slumber as well.

The next time he woke up was from something poking his cheek. Sjin moaned in aggrivation, snuggeling his face into his pillow. He could hear someone beside him mumble, "Thank god he's not dead."

Sjin raised his head from his arms and blinked a few times before looking at the poker beside him. When he did, his breath caught in his throat. It was the guy who had been sleeping on the floor earlier. Only now he was looking at Sjin with curious grey eyes. Sjin was at a loss of words and was only able to mutter out a weak, "Hi."

The man before him beamed a bright smile. "Welcome to the world of the living, buddy!" he greeted, almost patting him on the back, but realizing that doing so would be a mistake.

Sjin, still half awake, was having trouble putting two and two together. "Did...Did you save me?" Sjin asked.

The man nodded. "Sure did. I found you dog piled by a dozen mobs and iced the suckers like a pro! Can't leave a damsel to fend for herself."

Under other circumstances, Sjin would have taken offence to that. But something about the man seemed familar. Clearing his throat to break the silence, Sjin said, "Thank you for saving me. I would be dead if it hadn't been for you finding me out there."

The man smiled. "No problem! Though I have to ask, what were you doing wandering around with those injuries? Most people would hide out in a hole for a couple of days to heal with a creeper burn like that." Sjin blushed, a bit embaressed for his reason. He couldn't just say 'I was desprate to find some sort of human interaction to help keep my sanity after losing the love of my life.' That was a bit personal.

"It wouldn't happen," the guy continued, reaching over to the night stand, "to do with this diary, would it?" In his hands was the journal Sjin had found in the desert. The leather cover was dried and cracked on the edge.

"Y-yeah, actually." Sjin confessed. "I, um, I wanted to find whoever left them behind. I've been living alone and, well, I was getting lonely."

To Sjin's surprise, the man's cheeks flushed red ever so slightly, though he covered it with a smile. "Well I guess you found your guy! I didn't think leaving those things behind would actually lead someone to me. I guess a guy can get lucky, huh?" The man got up to put the diary away in a chest across the room.

A question itched in the back of Sjin's mind, though it was highly unlikely to be true. But he had to know for sure. Even if to simply get the idea out of his head, he had to ask.

"W-what's your name?" Sjin asked, unable to hide the need in his voice. The man looked back at Sjin, pausing for a moment.

Getting up the man turned toward Sjin and gave a slightly smug smile. "How rude of me. My name is Sips."

Sjin's heart stopped for a moment, unable to comprehend what the man had just said. Could it be a coincidence? Had he heard him wrong? "D-did you say...Sips?" Sjin asked.

Sips blinked. "Yeah, why? You heard of me?"

Sjin could feel tears coming, and couldn't find his voice. There was only one way to see if it was true. Reaching into his pocket, Sjin pulled out a slightly worn and flattened yellow flower. Sips looked at the flower for a moment, unsure what to make of it. Then, as if a switch went off in his head, he put two and two together.

Sips furrowed his brows. "A flower? Wha...?" he muttered to himself.

"It's kind of funny," Sjin chuckled, his voice cracking, "You gave this to me to save my back, but look at it now, heh."

Sips' eyes widened, slowly remembering those last days of the old world. "S-Sjin?" he asked, his voice only a whisper.

Tears began to brim in Sjin's eyes as he nodded. "Yeah." Without another word, Sips pulled the brunette into his arms and held him tightly, forgetting for a moment about the injuried man's back. Sjin didn't mind the pain though. Sips was here, in the flesh; something he'd only dreamed about, and he couldn't help but hold him as if he'd disappear out of his life again.

Breaking apart, Sips held Sjin's face and just looked at him, and Sjin did the same. He made note of every feature and bend of the man's face. Then, without a warning, Sips kissed him. It was quick, but warm. Pulling away, Sips smiled. "I'm here now, so you won't have to cry anymore, ok?"

Sjin tried to smile, but his crying made his lips quiver. Sips embraced the man again, letting him cry on his shoulder. After a life of living by himself, of such little human interation, Sjin didn't feel alone anymore.

For once in his life, he wasn't alone. Instead, he was happy.


End file.
